I was at an LGBT party and left with this girl and her abusive boyfriend showed up while we were leaving and started yelling at me. I just stood there and said "Yeah, how does it feel to watch your girl leave with another girl? Someone who's going to treat her way better?" And left his ass there like a boss.
I always feel ignored
people have crushes having that awesome day.. I hate having crushes.. I just can't because my emotions is too strong and I get a crush in unusual types of people. it just makes my day crappy. my emotions and thinking are just fully separated.
I enjoy having my wife finger my asshole while she blows me.
I want to be able to express myself and really be able to be the truest version of myself without all the masks and hiding behind my own insecurities.. But I can only ever tell my diary like 1/10 of anything that I'm feeling or doing with my life because I'm afraid to expose too much of myself. I hate everything about myself and I desperately want to die and a lot of people know that. They get mad at me and tell me I'm not allowed to die. They have threatened to kill themselves if I do it first and I wish everybody would forget that I exist so I can finally end the torture of living and kill myself without affecting anybody in a long lasting negative way. Nobody seems to understand the extent of my self loathing and they tell me that they care but they don't care about how I feel or how absolutely miserable I am they just care about the fact that I am alive for their own selfish reasons and I want to cry all the time and pretty much anything can trigger me.. Sometimes I dream about finally finding love and finding somebody to fall in love with me so I can be myself and they could help relieve the pain but all my relationships crash and burn.. I'm still a virgin and it all seems completely helpless and I'd say I'm still here but that might be taken positively and see even this is the most shallow part of what I'm feeling I want to say more but there is so much and I think so much I want it to go away.. I want to go away. I am never happy and I never will be.
"A Serbian Film is so fucked up!" Yeah well at least you can tell A Serbian Film is a movie. Go watch August Underground then come talk to me about something being fucked up.
I tried love once. She created demons within me that have made me a darker, crueler person. Can someone tell me that not all serious, long term relationships are like this? Can someone show me some light I don't see and make me believe that everyone is meant to find a love who makes them truly happy, lifting them up higher higher than they've ever been without also creating a monster?
Im so done with these third wave feminists, Im so done with these PC " white privilige" and I'm so done with anti body shamers. When you are plain fat it is unhealthy and I should be able to fucking tell you your habits and disgust me. just like you should be able to tell me my smoking habit disgusts you. For the record, I'm not talking about people with a small weight issue, it's healthy to have some curves. I'm talking about FAT people. Being 20+ kilo overweight costs ME the society, MONEY. And where a smoker pays the tax to it ( a pack of smokes comes as cheap as 2 dollars if not less without taxes and blah blah)
I like wearing stockings and garterbelt and bra ,pantys and heels
my cat comes first in my life.