Having an illness that you can't see is a real pain because you constantly get "pull yourself together it can't be that bad" and it hardly gets treated because even doctors think you're just simulating or overreacting.
I never really have friends. Those im friends with are either my siblings' friends as well, or those who manipulated me a certain way.. i guess people call those narcissist and sociopaths.. idk... But I dont talk to people and if I try, conversations ends with just that topic (school). I dont really know how to make conversations natural. Im careful asking questions because i might ask them too personal questions. Something im more interested in listening to than other conversations (i dont judge i just like personal conversations its not clear why). But excluding my interests inknowing people's personal lives, im actually awkward and shy and as a person I have great insecurities and i havetrust issues so when someone asks me personal questions i ended up lying (my identity mostly) even though i never wanted to but it hurts me when i do it. I just dont want them to know me because its heavy to say it but i wanna know then because possible reason is that, im interested in trying to see who are those living in shit like me. Idk just kinda makes me feel not alone with my feelings. But i wanna make friends, i wanna be honest, i wanna be happy, and better
I've always had trouble talking to people, specially women. Because of this I have no friends and never had a significant other in my life
I don't understand why there's this huge fan base that's just obsessed with Asian/Japanese culture. K Pop guys, manga and anime, people who spend their whole free time doing cosplay of manga figures, doing curses in Japanese language even though they're normally too lazy to even study for their normal school subjects, going as far as putting make up on to look Asian... you know those people? I don't have anything against them, to each their own. I just wonder why this is such a relatively wide spread thing; I know about 5 people like this, but never have I ever seen a white person fangirling over Hispanic or African or whatever other culture.
I'm going nowhere in life because of my ultra negative perspective of life and my self in it.
I just started watching PLL which I just found out ended after season 7 ,... is there any other binge worthy shows that are still making shows you can recommend or shows that have ended you can recommend it doesn’t matter I’m not good at finding binge worthy shows
I have to get my boss off my head. She's 42 but damn she is looking great! She works out a ton (I know that because she talks about gym all the time) and takes very good care of her skin and hair and all that. And I can't get her off my head, I'm going crazy!
What are some good anime’s or anime movies not specifically for kids but no dirty parts kinda line Kiki’s delivery and so on also how would you go about searching for a list ? Anime’s for kids ?
My dreams often are eldritch and deeply unpleasant. At least my girlfriend - I think - appears in them sometimes as some sort of "guardian angel"... in lack of a better word. It's really hard to explain. How do I put it, sometimes, since I am in a relationship with her, (more often since she proposed that we're probably soulmates, if such exist) the terrors that haunt my dreams are banished for a while, while a vaguely female figure radiates an almost blinding, angelic light, while wispering something akin to "come closer, for you are safe here"...which I'll do, but then I wake up or; at least, shift to a less eldritch, but still grotesque dream. That is deeply confusing for me...
Im relatively young, so it's my mom who has to schedule most of my things including my doctors appointments. The last time I went was about a month or so ago and that was when my mood swings (that I've apparently had since I was little) started to get aggressive. They recommended me to a therapist to give me a diagnosis and see if there's anything we should do about them. They only called my mom a week ago, so I haven't gone yet. I was pretty sure that I would go in and they wouldn't see much out of the ordinary, but today I discovered that there is likely a good chance that I could have depression. My family has a history with it and if I did get diagnosed with it I would be the 4th generation to have it. I'm not exactly sure how to feel about that