I have a suspicion that my mother was molested as a child. Her attitudes towards sex seem like there is some sort of trauma attached. Her parents divorced when she was about 5 and put her in an orphanage. She spent her teenage years trying to pick up American soldiers at the bars around Rammstein airforce base. When she came to America after her soldier husband died she started fucking new guys, including his brother within 3 months. She is what we call a never-single. One of her bfs was going great until he got sick and it caused impotence, so she dumped him for an illiterate farm hand whom she dated off and on for nearly 20 years. Now she's in her 50s and freaking out because she hasn't had sex in 2 months and can't find any takers. She gets violently angry at the idea people have the ability to not have sex, particularly those who wait for marriage. When I turned down easy women she assumed I was gay. She got violently angry and threatened to put me in an asylum when she found out I was abstaining. When I married a woman who was not like her she became more angry. She tried to pay my wife to leave me, and then to have an abortion. When that didn't work she rage quit and disowned me. I have known many women who were molested. They usually react in one of two ways. Extreme fear of sex, or extreme minimalization of it's importance. Like it's a meaningless bodily function like taking a shit. All of my friends worked through their issues as teens and are all well adjusted and married with kids now. Maybe I'm making assumptions, but either way she is a dangerous lunatic.
Who cares about sex? It's overrated. I need to get my life in order money wise or else I'm going to be homeless.
I didnt clean my room when I was asked to 😎😎😎😎😎
I really hate my mom. If only i'm not a student and i have a job, i would build my own home and living alone without her. She's always force me to do what she wants, all of it must decided by her, since i'm in kindergarten until now which is im 20. I was so happy when i could go for college in out of my town. For the first time i could feel, hangout with my friends at night, doing event until midnight, and im sure if i'm still living with mom for college, i wouldn't have a chance to do that thing. I would spent my young age with those rules of my mom which is so bored. I will have no experience. She doesn't allow me to doing that kind of thing, she thought it's just wasting of time. But, she's always acting kind to all of my friends, they're think my mom is cool although everytime i ask her permission to hangout with my bestfriends when i'm at home, it's so difficult. She would blame my friends that i've always wants to go outside. She thinks because of my friends i'm becoming a bad kid. Pfft, it's funny, just because i'm not thinking like her, she said that. She never appreciate me when i got 1st ranking in class, or when i do the right thing. But she always noticed me blamed me when i have my grades down, or i make a mistake. She also says "i better didn't have a kid like you". So do i, i better didnt live if everything that i've done always not enough for you. If suicide is not a sin, i would do that. This is sucks. I want finish my study early. So, i'm not depend on her anymore.
I wrote something really embarrassing as my high school year book quote (I can't really say here what it is because it requires a long ass backstory). I know it's irrational, but I think about it almost every week and feel really bad about it. I always imagine that some people from school are coming together, look at our year book for good memories, read my quote and laugh about me. We're having a reunion soon and I'm thinking about not going because I know that our quotes will be brought up, and I don't know if I can handle this. (I did have issues with being bullied, in case you can't already tell...)
I can't sleep if my closet is open lol too scary
You guys are so amazing. I have put so many confessions on here about different parts of my relationship and you guys comment some great words of wisdom. Thank you. It's working pretty well.
we're here become an unknown family bcze we confess each other! am I right? btw, I love you all!
My cat is still missing. Seven weeks already and no one in town has seen her... I'm starting to lose hope.
im literally the worst at comforting people, all i do is stay silent and awkwardly pat their back. i dont know how to deal with emotions