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My coworker is a total cuntwaffle. She's this fat twice-divorced gen-Xer who behaves like Daria from the 90s despite the fact she's 45. Everytime the boss complains about her she finds a list of things to tell on me for. She thinks that will make her in less trouble just because I took to long during lunch. Starting to see why the first 2 husbands left. She unironically reads Handmaid's tale and insults "Theists" despite knowing full well the office is full of Christians who have been very kind to her. Almost everyone in the office has had enough. I'm being professional with her. I only post my butthurt here.

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  • Well you do know that the world of the Handmaid’s Tale is more plausible than the existence of a loving God don’t you?

  • Cuntwaffle. I like that word.

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I've never been so relieved to hear someone say it's time for your lunch. I was at work (cashier), had a constant line of customers for 2 hours, and I really had to poop. I kept thinking it was going to slow down long enough for me to finish my line, cut off my light, and rush to the bathroom. That didn't happen. Thank goodness for whoever sent a coworker to take over for me and send me to lunch. Hopefully my stomach doesn't do that again. I've got about 2 more hours until my next break.

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I swear I stand so strongly by the fact that people who hate cats, have never been loved by a cat. And im not talking the "yeah cats are okay, but I prefer dogs." Im talking the countless people that come into the shelter I work at and turn their nose up at cats. The ones who when I say say where the cat room is(I say where all the rooms are when someone asks to look around) go "oh id never own a cat. I hate them." Ive always loved cats and always wanted one. October 4th 2018, i got that chance. My moms friends cat had an accidental litter. She did the right thing. She paid to get mom and all babies spayed and neutered and then gave the kittens away. In the end she was left with 2 brothers. I took one when he was 6 months old. And let me tell you.... He came to me as a scared boy. He wasnt fond of being touched. He hid a lot. He didnt eat. But after 2 days of giving him his space and all the food and toys he could want? He came out of his shell. He is the most loving thing. Im his favorite place to lay on. Ive had a lot of dogs... snd two right now that ive had for 5 and 3 years. And theres just... theres a different bond with this animal. I love my dogs deeply. I wouldnt trade them for anything. But theres just a different bond between you and a cat and you and a dog. And its because that cat chooses you. Dog are easy. food and pats and youre in with 90% of dogs. Cats are different. You have to earn every pawstep of their love. I remember one we had at the shelter a while back. I used to work cat intake. So Id clean the new cats every day. One day we got this old tabby boy. He was pissed. He was mad at the world. he hated everyone. I got a few claw marks from him from just trying to clean him. I dont know why... but i took to him. I liked him. I decided to earn his trust. So i set about my mission. Over the course of a couple weeks(we had no room on the adoption floor for him) I slowly pushed hos boundaries. Sitting beside his closed cage for a few minutes. Figuring out his favroite food. Sitting beside his open cage. Letting him sniff my hand. One quick pet on the head. A chin scratch. One rub down his back. A few more rubs. A chin scratch snd a head pat. Just slowly... slowly started to earn his trust. Then one day i went for it. I picked him up just long enough to put him in my lap. He stayed. He purred. He let me pet him. After about 5 minutes, He was done and got back in his cage. After that... we were friends. Everyday he would let me hold him and love on him for a few minutes. He would let others pet him if i held him, but no one else got the privilege of holding him. Then he started headbutting me. And meowing when i walked in the room. I loved that cat. And he started to like me. It was the best feeling ever. With some love and hard work, that cat went from hissing at everyone and everything to a calm and chill cat. He still went to be a barn cat, but his owner told us that he wants to be loved on every now and then. And from a feral cat? what more can you ask. cats are amazing creatures. You have to prove yourself to them. But once you do? Its amazing.

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  • I agree. I honestly hate people who say they hate any animal. 99% of the time, they either just don't know anything about them, or they had one bad experience and then decided all of them were bad. My cat is an asshole sometimes (he's 4 and in his rowdy stage) but I love him with all of my heart, and despite everyone telling me to put him up for adoption when he started having health problems and behavioral issues, I kept him and worked with him and he's a sweet little angel. He gets under my blankets and sleeps with me at night. He tries to groom me. He lets me hold him on his back like a baby and purrs while I do it. And he was a feral kitten when I rescued him off the streets. He's so gentle and rarely bites or scratches unless he feels trapped or threatened. Cats are wonderful, people just don't know how to work with/train any animal that isn't a dog. People barely know how to properly train dogs anyway fjskdjskhd

  • I love to read this, your experience with 🐈 🐈 and 🐕 🐕. You sharing this is very much appreciated.

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I hate it when someone on the Internet mocks me for not understanding that what they said was a joke. I mean, we're using a written medium here with no tone of voice to listen to! Plus, they didn't even use emojis to compensate for that. So how the hell was I supposed to know!?

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when you're sad about something, do you just cry yourself harder by breaking out and thinking about multiple of other completely irrelevant sad events/scenarios?? please tell me im not the only one. i feel like a complete drama queen when i do this and i dont know why i do it but its kinda funny

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  • No one in their right mind does this. Stop being sad, shits already done and if it's not, it's already out of your control. If it weren't you should do something to fix it or shut up and leave it alone. Too many people are stressed and sad about dumb shit. I've gone through painfully hard stuff myself, it's fine to be sad in the moment. You need to eventually grow up though and realize this shit isn't worth it anymore.

  • Yes I do this

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do i even have a purpose in this fucking world if i have nothing to offer

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  • i feel u.. got to find purpose, we all have one.

  • The Heavens have designed a destiny for every man. It's our job to find out what that is and pursue it.

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So fucking sick of my coworkers. Not getting a new job this year so I can't back out of the office with a middle finger on each hand held up just yet. But maaaaaan, am I sick of their bullshit. Every day I am nice. I am kind. I sacrifice my ego and act like little Mr. Pushover. Just want to tell them to go fuck themselves.

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I am a lesbian woman, and after I masturbated I always sniff my fingers. I enjoy that smell so much. I just love the smell of a vagina.

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  • As a straight man, I agree.

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im tired it always me who understand people but people never understand me

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  • I feel you *send virtual hugs*

  • I am sorry, it must be hard on you.

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I did a bedtime routine yoga routine and let out the loudest, bubbliest, stinkiest fart. I just had to sit there for a minute saying "oh lawd. Oh LAWD". I'm really glad I don't go to yoga classes or workout in public. Seriously the smell lingered for like 10 minutes.

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  • Class is dismissed. 🤣

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