I HAVE A SUMMER JOB INTERVIEW IN AN HOUR AND IM SO NERVOUS even though I'm not sure if I want the job or if I want to study in the summer. I just don't want them to think I'm an idiot!
For the first time in years, I talked to someone online elsewhere than on this site. I actually had the courage to use an account for it instead of doing it anonymously. And the conversation lasted more than half an hour! Right now, I feel really, terribly anxious that I might have made several social mistakes during the conversation but I also hope I can chat with her again.
I worked at a Wendy's for about 2 months and hated it so much. The store manager was rude and clearly didn't give a rat's ass about me or any of my coworkers. They didn't formally train me on anything, just had me follow around and watch someone who worked there for a month until I had the jist. I worked at another Wendy's for a year prior, but I told them I didn't work or train in any of the sections they were putting me in. Another manager and a co-worker saw my strengths were mostly in dining room, but they never had me work out there. They just put me in positions they knew I sucked at and watched me struggle. I'm pretty sure I had my first panic attack there. Three times I cried my eyes out on the way home. I don't know how but I swear to this day the register was rigged to throw my balance off. No matter how carefully I counted change, the register would always be over or under at the end of the day. The only day it was perfect was the day I didn't have any debit/credit card payments. The Wendy's I worked at before didn't put newbies just anywhere. They'd start you on stuff like dishwashing, salad prep, and fries first, then move you up the longer you were there. The people on registers had all been there for years and knew the restaurant backwards and forwards. You would get training on a computer before working something new. Our store manager had been a district manager before. He set the bar really high for someone's manager at their first job. I only left because my mom died and I couldn't afford rent. I loved that job, came in any time they called asking for help, worked any time they wanted me. In the year I was there, only one or two people quit because they just didn't like it. At the Wendy's I hated and only worked at for two months, I was the third person to quit in those two months, and a fourth person quit right after me. With a turnover rate like that, that really tells you something about management. I hope the store manager has been replaced by someone better by now.
I am actually furious about the news that some of France's rich people are giving big sums of money to help rebuild the Notre dame. The world is dying under our feet, people are starving or dying from treatable illnesses because the health care system is fucked, literal middle class people are becoming homeless because the rent market is crumbling... but sure, the one thing those rich guys give their precious money for is a single building. I also think it's important to keep our history alive, but it's certainly not the top priority goddamn it
I think im going to break up with my boyfriend because he lies, hides stuff, and constantly watches porn. I even caught him on live one time, but no matter how or when I catch him he denies watching it all together. This is his new take, along with telling me hes not doing it when he is. He even chooses to do it when im home, in the next room. Porn itself, i dont find a problem with, but the lying and hiding stuff that i am fully okay with behind my back is an issue. Especially since ive caught him lying basically everytime he tells me anything lately, including hanging out with his little brother, going to work, etc. This is an even bigger issue since i caught him messaging girls about a year ago...
I can't stand seeing sex scenes on TV, and even the mention of sex makes me uncomfortable. Because of this, I don't usually watch "regular" TV shows or movies - that is, live-action productions. Most of those are aimed at adults/general audience, so most of them naturally include references to sex. Almost all shows I watch are cartoons, either aimed at children or teens. I feel like a freak because of this so I don't talk about my watching habits to anyone but my immediate family.
my mom is constantly on my case about my weight and money i'm spending. i'm oneof the most tight wad people in my life and yet every time I buy something, it's "you're wasting ur money again?" "why would u spend on that" "you're supposed to be saving" meanwhile she owes me 10k and my dad is an addict so they spend on much stupider things. then the weight thing. telling me I need to lose weight. stop eating junk food, i'm gonna get fat, etc. but then I join a gym this week and she went on for 20mins about why I would join a gym, i'm busy enough as it is, I don't have time to waste my money on a gym. oh my fuck like shut up. nothing I ever do is right.
When my therapist is on a vacation I come to this site. Now is such a time.
Having a crush gives such contradictory feelings. On the one hand it makes me feel warm and fuzzy and giddy but on the other hand I'm so embarrassed that I want to throw myself off a cliff. I simultaneously feel overwhelmed and like I can't get enough of it? So weird. I can't decide if I like this. Oh, these things have been sia da million times already. I feel silly but I want to say this nonetheless.
I went to a friends house for a party, one with alcohol and crap. Her 16yr old sister was also there, which I always saw as a sister myself, knowing them for so long. Well my friend let her sister drink, and pretty much everyone got waisted, as usual, except for myself. Well when I took my friends sister to bed while everyone was leaving, the sister begged me to fuck her. I said no and never did, explained to her it'd be better to be sober for something like that on her first time and with someone not 7 years older. Well I sat down to talk to her and she ended up kissing me, and it was a damn good kiss. To this day I regret I didn't fuck the hell out of her.