Is it just in my country, or do most game shows that are advertised as family friendly contain blantant, not-subtle-at-all innuendos and even offhanded mentions of sex?
thoughts on the abortion law?
I isolate myself so much focusing on my career that I feel like I’m losing myself trying to be someone I’m not in order to attract the attention of anyone because I just really want friends. I really only have 1 friend and she just seems to have her shit so much more in order than I do that it’s kinda hard to keep up. I might be depressed. I can’t even afford therapy. I flirt and use sex as a way to try take my mind away from how lonely I am. I don’t know what to do. I’m really losing myself and I feel it. I had such a fire in my heart that’s now dimming so slowly..
Just met with my ex after such a long time.... we both are doing well with our lives. He just broke up with his girlfriend of 1 year, and I've been with no one after I broke up with him, 8 years ago. I don't think we still have the same feelings about each other anymore as we did years ago. But is it wrong if I hoped a little? That he still hold feelings towards me?
Since we are all on the sex and abortion topic today, I had an odd conversation with a Black guy about this that I could never discuss in public. (I'm a White male) we were talking about raising our kids and he mentioned how, "Once they turn 13 they start fucking and sucking around." My mind was blown. How is that possible? I had known the stats vaguely, but suddenly the abortion politics made more sense. How the hell could that work logistically? We are talking middle schoolers! I lost my virginity at 24, and my wife (Asian female) lost hers to me at 20. We already had degrees and were adults. No wonder abortion is such a huge deal in the Black community. Kids make bad choices. It also hit me why Malcom X might be right. The two cultures weren't compatible. White Alabama laws work for most of White Alabama. Black Alabama (majority) wants abortion, gun bans, and legal weed. We either got to split AL into two states and let them rule their own lives or buy land in Cali to use for reparations to help them move, because this status quo is causing enmity among people who should not be enemies.
I hate spring... why is it so hot
I'm so tired of my stomach hurting and irritable bowel it stops me from doing so many things in life
Music is a small comfort these days
There's this guy I knew in college. He always talks about how depressed he is. I don't know if he was being real deep inside.... But tbh, he sounded too pathetic about his depression. Like depression was some kind of fad for him. I don't know, I can't judge him but every time he talks, I just wanna scream at him and tell him, bullshit. He was pretty toxic but at the same time I'm conflicted to say it because he means well when I tell him little things about me. But he's a difficult friend to be with and I always had mixed feelings when with him. But all I can say, he sounded too pathetic and it's driving me nuts and I don't know what to say. And I know that depression is depression, there's always a catalyst to it whether that catalyst was light or not. I'm going to be redundant here but his reasons is like a child's play and he dumps his shit to me. They affect me but not affect me leading to depression more like irritated. I mean I hope I can tell him, I had 3x suicide attempt, 3x cutting. Changed 3 anti depressants. Was hospitalized 3x, was in psych ward once, was sent to sensory deprivation room because I was starting to be mentally dead, had nervous breakdown, have insomnia. Almost died 3x: my disability complications, from Dengue, accidents... Was raped and molested by my cousin. Yeah sure to him, I look normal. I was excelling in classes, I was completely caring. That's all because Im not putting an effort to label myself and like shit, I've been here, just keep on living.... And because I somehow saw that some depressed people like me, are just sad. Like pathetic sad. But again, I wanna try not to judge as much as possible because everyone is different. I met those with lighter reason but at least, they're reasonable. I don't know, it just sounds too unreal to be depressed because you lost 1 follower on Instagram. And lost 1 friend out his what, unaccountable amount of good friends. I have 4 (including him) that I call my friend and 1 friend was murdered by his boyfriend (it was on the news), 1 was drug addict and violent and so I stayed away from her. I have him and my other friend who is always busy now we are in college.... . He didn't have to pay for college because his parents do it. I pay my own tuition, I have two jobs as why I have small friends. Plus I have anxiety. And I feel like he isn't my friend too because he doesn't know me. And I prefer it that way because knowing him, it's not worth showing him my boulders. Knowing the fact he can't even lift his own pebbles. Plus he doesn't care anyway, he'd ask me then after my one phrase, he'd be telling all about his shit.....
Sometimes when my boyfriend is eating out my ass, I lowkey want to fart..