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I was walking to university, and there were 2 other people who just met and somehow became friends. They were talking and laughing... and I couldn't help but envy them that they are so happy and easy going. I crave having a real connection with someone, anyone, not even romantic love, just a person I can have deep conversations with. Yet, whenever I have a chance, I push people away, because I feel like a burden on them... and no assurance is ever enough for me. So I always go back to being lonely and pathetic. I wish I could just stop existing, because for the most part, life is so harsh and cold and meaningless.

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  • wow. I have that same feeling. it sucks because I want a real connection with someone but, unfortunately, I have a hard time trusting them. so I'm usually alone after a certain amount of time

  • I can understand that completely. I am the same way. This year I am making an effort to be more open to frienships as well as romantic relationships. Try some meet up groups where you are around people who think like you. Or simply go to events or stike up a conversation with someone for practice. It takes time. I am trying as well. Its scary...but exciting because it could make your life so much more adventurous. :)

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