I keep a bucket list on me. It's not because I'm going to die soon. I have one because at one point of my life I was thinking about "giving up" because I have such a hard time connecting with people without being judged by someone and I've always had terrible self-esteem as ,somehow, one of my parents see me as competition for the other's affection. I wrote the list to buy myself time so if I do have that sad moment again, I tell myself, "not yet, not until I complete all of this." And I continue to add things on to give myself a reason to live.