My mom doesn't believe me when I tell her that I have insomnia but she does believes I have anxiety. Last night, I finally managed to fall asleep around 4:50am after laying in bed for hours. But I wake up at 6 am so I really only got one hour of sleep. It has been like this for me for the whole week. I've only been getting three to one hour of sleep each night. This morning as I was getting ready for school, I suddenly had this thought that if I didn't sleep soon, my heart would explode. I don't know why, I know that's not true, but I couldn't get the idea out of my mind. And I honestly felt like death. My brain felt too crowded inside my head and I had to eat my breakfast in the dark because the kitchen lights hurt my eyes so much that I felt like I was going to go blind. I was so fucking tired. I was so miserable. So I faked an anxiety attack so that my mom would let me skip school. I went up to her, hyperventilating and trying to make myself look on the verge of tears, and I told her ''I think I'm having an anxiety attack'' and when she took my hands in hers, I made my hands tremble so she would feel me shaking. It worked. I stayed home and slept for a full five hours. Yes I feel bad lying to my mom like that but this is the most alive I have felt all week. Fuck you insomnia. Fuck. You.