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Last night at creepy old curio shop in Chinatown I bought a severed monkeys paw with all its fingers extended out. The old Chinese guy said had the power to grant wishes, but each wish carried a terrible curse. I bought it on a lark and made a wish. "I wish Trump would do something about Syria to prove he's not a puppet of Russia." Today one of the fingers is closed. I'm scared.

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  • you should wish for the 'merican people to grow some brain cells

  • I think it stops working when just the middle finger is extended...

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