I always tell others to love their life, and I always wish I can live for a long time. I'm really excited and curious about the future. And honestly I always been so grateful about my life and I never ask for anything more. But at the time like this when I remember that in this life I have nothing I want to do, no goals, no dream, I never even had any boyfriend, there's no guy who attract me either. I'm lost, and those suicidal thoughts would come to my mind like a heavy rain.