I say the wrong thing more and more lately, as If stepping on a mine continuously. I want to act like it's either completely her fault or mine. Truth is it's a mixture of both of us being toxic to each other for the smallest reason. Sometimes I just hate her, and I feel as she hates me too. But I think of all the fun times we had and press on. It's getting harder though, I keep trying to play it safe and keep things civil but I feel so hateful sometimes. More than anything I want to keep my anger inside because I've seen what it does. I feel like I'm wounded and there's only so much left I can bear. How can I be a good friend if I can even be myself anymore. I feel it's changing me for the worst, I want to be a better person but it's slipping away from my hands. I just want to be me again but I don't know what to do anymore.