I have lots to say but never say half of it because I fear the consequences. Fear has driven me around for most of my life, and kept me from truly succeeding. It got bad enough that considered taking my life. But I couldn't, I couldn't justify it in my head. Even if I wanted I couldn't do it, especially if it hurt my loved ones. I'm stuck in a loop of failure and the only way it stops is if I ask for help but I'm scared. But for the first time I'm saying my feelings somewhere rather than holding onto it and it's helping me a little. I'll keep doing it until I've got nothing left to say.