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I’m on the boy’s cross country team, and about a month or so ago, we were instructed to jog in this forest for a couple of miles, as we usually do. Except that day, the forest was damp and muddy because of the rain we’d had the last couple of days. So I was jogging, and I wasn’t really paying attention because my mind was preoccupied with other stuff that I had to deal with, and then all of a sudden I slipped, fell, hit my head, and lost consciousness. To this day, I don’t know what made me slip. It’s possible that I tripped over a branch. It’s possible that the ground was wet and it made me miss my footing. It’s possible that someone pushed me. I don’t know and I’ve long since stopped worrying about it. I slipped, and that’s all there is to it. Anyway, I was on the ground, I didn’t know how much time had passed, and I was barely starting to regain consciousness when I felt someone lifting me up. My ears were ringing and my vision was spinning so much that I couldn’t even make out who it was. But they were carrying me, and their hand was cradling the back of my head, and their other hand was holding me up from underneath, like I was a little kid. And they were taking me somewhere, too. I could feel it. Then after a minute or two, when my vision and hearing had returned almost back to normal, I saw that the person who was carrying me was an older guy from my team. I told him that I was fine and that he could put me down but my words came out all slurred together so he told me not to move too much. He said that I fell and blacked out for a couple minutes but I was gonna be just fine and that he was gonna take me to the nurse and that I should just relax. So I kind of just let my eyes close and I must’ve fallen asleep/passed out on him because when I woke up again, we were at the nurse's office and he was putting me down on one of the beds, telling me again that he'd take care of everything and that I should just lay down. So blah blah blah, my mom came to get me, I was taken to the doctor, turns out I had a mild concussion, nothing too serious but I skipped school for two days to recover anyway, and when I came back to school, I found the guy who carried me and thanked him for helping me out. He said it was no problem and told me that he saw me fall and everyone just ran right on past me. He said no one even took a second glance at me and it pissed him off so much he wanted to punch them in their faces for not doing anything to help me. So we’ve gotten really close these past couple of weeks, I’ve invited him over to my house several times, he’s invited me to his, he runs next to me during cross country, we say hey everytime we see each other in the halls, and...I think that I might like him. I mean, I’ve done stuff with girls before, I’ve always considered myself straight, but when I’m around him...I just feel like I’m longing for something more, you know? It feels like I just...want something from him. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like the feeling I get when I like a girl, but deeper, and stronger. It’s like one of those feelings in your stomach, where you don’t even know if it’s a good feeling or bad feeling because it’s so different than any other feeling you’ve felt before. I just want to be near him all the time. It's all I can think about at this point. I don’t know what I should do. I’ve never felt like this towards another guy, but I want to tell him so badly. It hurts so much that he doesn’t know, it’s killing me. He’s such a kind and caring person, so I know he wouldn’t be rude about it, but I’m still scared shitless. I don’t even know how I could bring it up but I absolutely have to. I’ll go crazy if I don’t. How am I supposed to do this??

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  • I find that in these situations, it's best to be up front. Don't hint at it or beat around the bush. When I had my first gay crush on a girl, I told her directly 'I know you don't feel the same, but I just want to be honest with you because I think you deserve to know. I have a crush on you. I don't want this to change anything between us, I just wanted you to be aware of it.' And she was cool about it. She said she was flattered even though she's straight. And we're still good friends. Just be honest and clear about your intentions.

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