I've fallen for a good friend of mine. But because of my tendency to reject everyone around me, to push them away from me at every turn I’ve always been alone. I can't bring myself to tell her I like her, I've had multiple chances and asked her out to the movies and bowling multiple times but I've never been able to tell her. Every time I'm about to, I remember the other girls who've fallen for me and I've fallen for, and I remember the pain in their eyes when I eventually detached from them completely, I never want to lose her, but I also don't want her to date anyone else. I'm stuck in a constant loop such as this. Watching her having fun and smiling with other guys whilst I just sit there, all alone, because of my own stupid barriers that I've set up around my heart.