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I don't have any friends and I know that it's because I'm the most uninteresting person you can imagine, all I do is revision and homework. I'm not even ambitious I just fear failure and feel that if I'm not at least successful in terms of my grades I'm worthless because that's all I've ever been able to do. I don't watch TV, Youtubers or listen to music and I know it's my own fault that I'm so boring. However, I have no drive to do these things and I have a reason to do school work, that is the maintenance of my reputation and the minimisation of my self loathing. I honestly just want to stop the world, I feel so trapped and lonely but things aren't even bad for me. I'm poor but not that poor, my father is ill but not that ill, I don't have any friends but I'm not hated but there's just no happiness in my life. All my grades might get me is a university place I don't want and a job I need but will hate. I just can't see a reason to carry on doing what I do, I'll never escape my true mediocrity. I'm so jealous of the talented and passionate and loved.

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