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I sometimes say what I think people want me to say instead of being honest. I know I shouldn't and I'm trying to stop. One time my mother said something about me hugging her earlier when she had been crying, and for some reason I thought her tone of voice sounded angry so I said that I hadn't done it because she was crying, which was a lie. She asked why I had done it then, so I said that I'd done it just because. She just said "Oh..." and then I thought that maybe she hadn't been mad at me about trying to comfort her after all. Now I was worried that she thought that I didn't care about her being sad, but I didn't know how to explain the whole thing. Then one time when I was younger, when I was hanging out with two of my new-ish friends, a few times I used this nonsense word that one of them had come up with. One time when I had just done so, they asked where I got that word from, and I got flustered because I didn't know what possible reason they had to ask that. I thought it was obvious that I had got it from them, so I thought that since it was obvious, maybe they wanted me to say something else. So being as dumb as I was, I just said "I don't know." Then said me that I stole that word from them and that I shouldn't have done so. I don't remember what I said after that, maybe I didn't say anything or maybe I apologized. What I know I didn't say is that I had used that word because it sounded cool and because they were cool and I thought that best way to express that sentiment was to use that word. But I was extremely inarticulate back then so I didn't know how to say all that. But I think now that it's better to stay in my lane when it comes to words. Then another time my dad was mildly disappointed that almost no one wanted to eat chicken wings even though so many were bought, so when he had grilled them I said that I wanted one because I did not want him to be upset, but at the same time some others asked for them too so it turned out that he had grilled so few of them that they wouldn't be enough for those who asked for them at a later time (me included). He got mad at people for not asking for them on time. So I said that I wouldn't eat one after all. (I didn't actually want one, you see.) Dad asked me why I had asked for one and I just said that "I didn't want it for real". He just said "I see" so I'm relieved that he didn't get mad at me for lying or anything. But honestly, if I wanted to have any kind of good effect I should have said that I want one BEFORE he grilled them or not say anything at all. Then one time I talked to someone on the Internet about what I find to be some of the beautiful things in the world because I thought that if I was going to make "small talk", it might be polite to say something positive. But they said that I was being too saccharine and didn't want to talk anymore. I guess I just have awful social skills.

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  • *They said to me that I stole that word

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