Honestly, I hate my form of disability(there's 3 major types and at least 12 minor types.) I dont know... I'm like in the middle of a normal person and a disabled person. I look normal, I can walk and not need any braces and wheelchair etc. But I have a paralyzed bladder and other areas around my body (id prefer not to mention the others). Like dear god, if I'm gonna be like this, why didnt you just made me normal or obviously disabled? I know I should be lucky but people just don't understand. All the time!! My friends would ask me to hike with them but I can't and I cant tell them the reason because it was too embarrassing (i will pee my pants in an uphill position like that and doctors told me to refrain from it and my feet is numb that I wont feel the rocks when i walk I will more likely to fall often times. Plus I tried it and force my feet to do so and I farte like unaccountable amount of times and i poop my pants like literally....) Often times they would ask, "why can you swim and not run? Like that's bogus!! " I always tell them my body is literally built for swimming not walking (my leg density is low and I build little to no muscle in one of my legs and I have good muscles suited for swimming so I only pursued that) they said they find it hard to believe because they seem not real and would get mad because they think Im insecure or hiding something and then would unfriend me. Like all the time I'm left alone because many can't understand my disability.. and many see me as a liar and always making my disability as an excuse for not running (i pee my pants for running) etc.. these legs. One of them are useless than a prosthetic legs and I would want it amputated... like everytime!! I'd rather get rheuma at 70 than 25 just because I have a leg thats only used to support the other leg to walk... I get soooo mad at myself and i get so depressed and frustrated that I cant make friends just because they think Im lying.. I mean if I must I can show them how i pee so they understand. Id demostrate them how my feet are different from each other.. id show them my confdential medical records etc. I dont know.. but how do you even find respectcul friends and at least believe you and respect what you believe?