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i feel like my handicap siblings took away my life. i'm always the one that has to look after them and my parents depend a lot on me for help with them. i've gotten so used to helping that i feel like i can never move away and have my own life. what guy (or girl, even) is gonna wanna be with someone that has been tied down to kids that aren't even mine? i find myself hating them. i don't know what to do. what can i do?

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  • i know the feeling of being tied down to hoe(my mom was an alchoolic suicidal)i never toght i could live away,like the world would crumbleif i left but its not like this.you can do whatever you want.just do it,your problens will still be there and with time you may learn to juggle them in your routine.it may suck but you are stronger than you imagine,and if you find someone to help you shoulder it will be a piece of cake.....in geneal at least.

  • Have you talked to your parents about this? If you don't feel you can or you get an angry response, consider speaking to a councilor or psychologist. They will help you decide what is best for you and how to go about getting it. Some options are, to get a job or start taking classes at a local college, university, or tech college while living at home (you would be getting out of the house often and meeting people your own age, but your parents wouldn't lose all your help at once, it would help them transition into not having you there), get a job and/or go to a local college, university, tech college while living in your own apartment nearby and helping your parents some evenings and weekends (similar to above, but you have more freedom and privacy, but they have to make a bigger transition, faster), the main advantage to these two for you, is that you get to start getting your own life, but don't have to feel super guilty because you are still around to help out some. Next two options, things stay as they are, or you totally break away, either way, you are going to be unhappy, but in the first, your parents still have your help, the second you get your freedom. With the first two, the end goal for both would be that you would eventually only be home for visits and to occasionally help out in emergencies or if you wanted to give your parents a chance to have a vacation, and they would be making up for you being gone by accessing more services through the community, their insurance, or govt. programs. I think, for everyone's health this needs to be the ultimate goal, the decision is about how to get there. I really think a councilor or psychologist could help you decide which path is the best for you and your family, and how to go about talking to your parents about it. Maybe you will need to find a councilor on your own first to talk to, or maybe you will be able to talk to your parents first and all three of you can talk to a councilor together. Unfortunately, I can't help you decide which way to do it, you will have to make that decision based on your family.

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