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I hate my parents in law. I hate how they treat me. They're the sort of people who highly value politeness, and this is the reason for why we hate each other; because we have different understandings of politeness. For them, it's the excessive use of "thank you" (no, saying it one time and being sincere about it isn't enough, they want to hear it so often over even the tiniest things that everyone else would think you're being sarcastic), always formally saying hello and goodbye with a handshake (which I was taught to only do the first time you meet someone, and later be casual. Our families are just different here, which is unfortunate and I don't think anyone's to blame) and talking a lot, which isn't a possibility for someone who's as shy as me - I guess every person who's shy can relate to this. Extroverts think you hate them or are being rude when you don't talk much. Which brings us to what I see as being polite: making someone, especially when they're guest in your house, feel wanted and welcomed. By looking them in the eyes when you come in and say hello, by being friendly to them even if you don't like them very much. Especially when your son wants to marry this person. I always try my best to not show that I hate them - at the beginning I didn't even, I tried to understand why they were so cold - try to talk more, to say thank you loud and clearly and as much as I can fit into the conversation, to not tell my boyfriend that I have problems with them because I know it upsets him. And they? Openly hate me, ask my boyfriend why he even wants me and don't make an effort to try to understand me. If we were living alone, I would have no problem with all of that, just avoid visiting them, but we're both still living with our parents, and since my place is too small to have 4 people in it, we mostly sleep and hang out at his place. We're both the type to really need to be close and around each other all the time. Which now doesn't seem to be possible anymore because I don't know how long I can bear this anymore. (So, this is the end of the confession, but I feel the need to clarify a few things. First of all, There are reasons for why we're still living at home, and it's not because we're too lazy to work. Secondly, I know there are problems far worse, but I needed to rant about this. Furthermore, I'd like to apologise for my aggressive tone, I'm mad at them, not at you.)

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