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My husband is really bad at buying me gifts. Just had my birthday and like always he's brought me clothes that are way too big and tacky perfume that smells way too fruity and sickly. He always does this every year. I'm not complaining about cost, it's about how little they suit me. When it's his birthday if I buy him clothes I always check his own ones in his wardrobe so I get the right fit and with cologne I remember what I already know he likes the smell of to get something in that ballpark. He never makes that same effort with me. I've not said anything to him because I don't want to hurt his feelings but I fed up with unthoughtful gifts - tacky smelling perfume that hurts my nose and ill fitting clothes eurgh. Last year I literally found out that he brought most of my presents the night before - it makes me angry and sad to think of how little effort he puts in.

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  • Maybe he likes the perfume and wants to smell it on you. You have to make an effort to show him what you like. Men struggle with this. When you see something in the store with him or in a catalogue, say 'Oh I LOVE this stuff! I'd give anything to have some.' Or point out shirts you like, say 'I wonder if they've got that in a medium' (or whatever size you wear). If you mention it often enough, he'll start to remember some of the things you bring up.

  • You not telling him is where the problem starts. Do you really expect him to magically know that there's a problem if you pretend to like it? The first time he was giving you something, he probably wasn't sure what to get because he was overwhelmed with the task - something a lot of men struggle with, by the way - but when you then said it's good he was reassure that he did it right, so he has no reason to change his pattern.

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