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so my husband has been fucking my "best friend" for about two months and she doesn't know that I know. we're poly and she knows this but she still went to him behind my back. he of course told me right away but I've waited to see if she'd tell me and she hasn't yet. I'm just upset that she feels the need to hide something from me JUST to hide it and that she's clearly not the friend I thought she was. she's due with her first baby in a couple weeks and if she hasn't told me by time she has him I'm cutting her off (which means he will too). to make it worse we've even had several conversations where I've expressed that I would be ok with it and that he doesn't do anything sexually without me knowing. she's constantly telling me to leave him too because "he doesn't love you like he says he does"...yeah he's not the one who's lying to me. (the only bright side is I getting excited about sharing him so at least I'm still getting something out of it.)

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  • I like romance as in "18th-19th-Century-Prose". You and your lifestyle sicken me and I think you should overthink polyamory forthwith.

  • maybe she knew your husband told you, so you already know. some people won't tell you something if you already know about it. now with that being said. my bestfriend slept with someone I was madly in love with and lied to me for 9months about it until I found out from someone else. and even after I knew, I confronted her and she lied about it for another 2 weeks.... so I know how you feel. and it's near impossible to forgive in those situations. it takes time, it takes a lot of heart and some aspects of it you aren't totally over. our friendship will never be the same. we still talk, I didn't cut her out completely. but I have moments where I feel bitter, where it's uncomfortable to be around her and it's hard to trust her again. if I were you, instead of waiting for her to say something confront her. saves u a lot of time and gives her a chance to say something about it. the comment below, the part about losing friends and not knowing why, i've had that happen a lot too...and some I still don't know what it was. but if someone thinks I hurt them or theirs something they don't like, i'd prefer the chance to change it or understand what happened. There's a lot to factor in and every situation is unique. but thats my 5cents

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