Today, I got caught cheating. Yeah yeah say shit to me I'm a disgrace. I worked and studied so hard on my classes yet I still couldn't remember anything. As much as I don't wanna blame the medication, it is the one causing me to have a memory problems. I'm always tired with it now. It deteriorated my memories. Nothing worked for me, I changed three meds already, went to therapist, been on psych ward for suicidal tendencies. And I cheated for the first time one damn paper exam and got caught. I might be dismissed to a university and my life is ruined forever because of it. The only choice is either I kill myself. I know I have so many things I wanna do yet which are simple and short. Something i never do because I never have time for myself and studying,but after that, i'll kill myself.... I'm almost homeless, I have a physical disability. Like what else do I got in this world?? I can't get any better. Plus, I have no friends and my family doesn't care.. And I was sexually molested, bullied, and abused. I don't trust people and their politics. Who am I to run to.. Honestly, I'm fed up with life so nothing but death. Death does not resolve anything but it ends everything I have been trying to resolve for the whole time of my life. Trying to resolve why I am the person I am. Trying to resolve the issues for cancer. And as selfish as it sounds, I've been living my college life researching about cure methods and I just don't know where to stop and re-start. For 21 years of my life, I got have myself so I'm tired of it.