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I really want to dissuade my sister-in-law from having a kid. She's super depressed (at least she's on therapy now), her marriage isn't going well (but I hope this can be fixed with therapy), and I don't know from where she got this idea that having a kid will actually save her from depression. I won't say a word, of course. It isn't my marriage or my mental health and well-being. But if I could, I would have her wait one or two more years, to see if therapy improves her depression and marriage, before trying to get pregnant. She can wait, she's only 28.

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  • The desire for a kid is unrelated to her regular depressions. It's just biological imperative. Personally, I'd stay out of her business. I remember when my mother tried that shit with me and my wife. We laughed how our child is basically a big middle finger to her. Everything turned out great. 28 is on the late end of normal for having kids. Fertility drops like a rock after 30.

  • Postpartum depression is real and pregnancy hormones might make her regular depression worse. I know whenever I'm about to start my period and my hormones are crazy, my depression gets worse so I figure it's the same concept. I'd tell her it's not a kid's job to fix their parents problems. It's not your marriage or mental health, but that would be your niece or nephew if she gets pregnant. It's not fair to your future niece or nephew to bring them into this world to fix a marriage.

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