This might sound pathetic but the idea of sex scares me. I know it's probably just because I've let horror stories and porn influence my view of it too much, but I can't shake it off.
The scariest part is paying her...😂
First of all: from personal experience, I can say that the kind of rough sex most people enjoy doesn't hurt. It might look like it does, but it doesn't. Hair pulling for example looks horrifying but doesn't hurt at all because ALL the hair gets pulled (try it on yourself). Orgasm faces look like pain faces. Part of your fear of being hurt probably comes from seeing those girls with faces of pain, but in reality they're just enjoying it so much (there's a fun game called "labour or orgasm" where you are shown women's faces who are either cumming or having a baby, and you have to find out which one it is. You can't tell, seriously. The facial expressions don't differ much or even at all.) So when something on porn looks painful, then maybe just because you judged her expression wrong. That being said, sex CAN hurt. But then you just stop and suggest a different position. I get why you are afraid of disappointing your partner, and unfortunately all I can tell you about that is that it will get better with time, but only if you give it a chance.
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