Take it off your chest...
Read Rules

backstory: I'm a woman who grew up to (legal) immigrants in poverty, neglected (not always fed, left alone), sexually abused (teachers, cousins, family friends) and awkward looking (children who are lovely are more cared for I think). After puberty I changed a lot physically and I wasn't used to the opportunities that created for me(not going to lie, I think I got a few internships and jobs because on an interviewers personal curiosity) . I was always bright. I had perfect scores on all my standardized tests and took my regents exams in 7th grade. Because of this one good thing, I was able to go to a prep school in new England and make up for all the scars of neglect by being socialized with wealthy children who were cared for. I got into college, but the setback in completion was that my family refused to help financially (wouldn't even fill out a fafsa) and I couldn't afford (monetarily or health wise) to keep going. I met an upper middle class middle aged man and spent several years with him, not using my potential, but feeling loved. After he left, reasonably so, I became lazy. I started at a call center making $8 an hour. then by some luck I ended up parlaying my partial academic career in psychology into a door toward social work. Not a lot of money, but spiritually fulfilling. I found God again. Did that for 3 years, in the meantime studying some new math and searching for myself and opportunities to discover myself. Figured out I can kind of code, ended up in a computer science program. met a male engineer in my age group that is so virtuous and kind and ambitious and encouraging.. he tells me he loves me... and so far I've built 3 of my own apps (just for school/passion, not on the play store) . I'm this close to getting out of this fucking nightmare and my anxiety is through the roof!!!!! Part of being institutionalized is being so used to disappointment and failure that success kind of hurts. just my $0.02

Your Comment...

Latest comments

  • Don't self sabotage girl! You deserve love and good things coming your way!

  • You're doing great. Don't give up on yourself.

Show all comments