Whenever the guy I like, likes me back, I feel this extreme happiness which I'm not comfortable in to (because I'm a depressed girl), so I try my best to sabotage the relationship, be sad and feel normal.
It might be difficult to accept at first, but it might be your ego that`s standing in your way. You see, ego is a very tricky bastard who likes being here and will do anything to make you oblivious to it. In your case, your ego feeds itself with your depression and it had made you think you are a victim. And this might be why you are sabotaging your relationships: so that your ego can reign supreme. You might think I`m talking out of my ass, but if you are interested, I want to recommend you a book by Eckhart Tolle called "A new Earth". He talks a lot about ego and you might find some interesting things there.
I know this feeling :( I do it too
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