I had unintentionally been ignoring my friends because of the hurt they unknowingly caused me. I know it’s my fault that I fall asleep in class and make a fool of my self and they are just trying to help me by advising me but the way they put it hurts me a lot. I don’t care about others but I care about their view on me bc we’re friends. I’m now struggling to reply to them and honestly, I think I just made a rift because of all the internal hurt that has been compiling in me. I didn’t want this to happen but I caused it. I’m a shitty friend for doing this. This sucks too much and I’m coward because of I’ve been phobic of closer relationships since my falling out with my one of best friends. I don’t want a repeat of that. I’m shitty and I own up to that. This may seem minor but these internal battle I have been facing for so long has made me do rash decisions. I’m sorry guys for being a coward. I’m sorry for not being enough. I’m sorry and I hope one day we’ll forgive each other because I can’t trust you guys yet, not wholly.