first i'm from germanny, so i apologize for my grammar, and some of my expressions. i'm 24, and i've been in some horrible situiations in my life, i've never had a girlfriend, oder even really close friends. Last year a few months after i vistet an institution for mentally broken poeple, i've met a girl through sw-tor (it is a game yes). i was so damaged from my life at this time, that the last chance is saw for myself, was to end it forever. Untill i've met her, she saved me literally from myself, i could talk to her about anything, and i even helped her with her relationship problems, cause if she was happy i was happy. but after a few months (about 7 now) i think, i fell more and more for her, a week ago she splittet up with her Bf, and i was the first person, to knew about that, i've helped her with her pain and tears, and i was there for her, like she was for me... The thing is, yesterday she said to me, that she invited one of her ex boyfriends over, just to f*ck her brain out... i was so devastated the only thing i can do in the last few days, is to think about her and to cry... until i've met her i was so f*cking lonely. the only one i've had was my mother but i couldn't talk to her because she has problems on her own, my brother is a lazy f*cker who just thinks about himself and his new mmo (ESo ftw rigth?) and now, i'm sitting here and dont know what to do... the dark thoughts are coming back, i cant eat anything and when i'm alone, i just cry and think about her.... the thing is, we only know eachother trouhg the internet and whatsapp, because i cant afford to visit her, and she works as a nurse sometimes 6 days a week. I think, she knows about my feelings, but is affraid to talk about that, and i'm really afraid, just to think about talking to her, because i don't want this beautiful friendship to end with some naiv and childish thoughts about a dream, to be together with her and just to hold her in my arms and never letting her go... This is my confession, and i just needed a place to relive myself.