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I normally would forget a dream a second after i wake up but this just hits different; i woke up to sobbing and tears in my eyes and that kinda stuff never happens so it kinda freaked me out. I remembered being black and blue almost beaten to death by a boyfriend? husband? and i remembered just laying on the ground completely helpless and half conscious while he beats another girl to the ground, if i try to say or do anything to defend her i would just get beaten up more. She was on the ground body and head facing me just staring at me while i stare back at her, she was faceless (as in i dont remember what she looks like) and i can see him spooning her from behind. Jump cut: I was at a family dinner and everybody was completely oblivious to my state, i looked fresh out of a beat up sesh and i still had a black eye. I realised that a family dinner wasn't the best setting to come out with stuff like this especially with domestic violence but i did it anyways. I needed the release. "I was abused" was all i said, it went real quiet real quick and everybody was staring at me. I can't help but crack a smile because that's what people do when they're nervous and in a tense situation right? It was a defense mechanism and i thought they knew that, obviously didn't. One of the people (so happens to be a brother like figure in my life) with a laugh, went "oh i get it, she means that everybody gets abused one way or another in life right?" and everybody was smiling and laughing as if ridiculing me for trying to be sentiment or deep. The pain and betrayal i felt was deeper than any hits i took. So i walked out and thought to myself "I'd rather go back to HIM than to ever walk in that room again". Then i woke up like wtf

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