I got my brain injured in my sport and i had some time to think and i realize this is all i know and love, i have nothing else to do and i will not ever have anything i dream of without my sport. i feel like i have no way out but to keep going and pay the price when i'm old or become mediocre and give up on everything i dreamed when i started this its because i wanted to have friends and be part of something, and because i was inspired by a hero of mine, but now i feel like no matter how much i'm trying it feels like i'm running but stuck in place. in the coming months i have to make the decision to go back to training, and i don't know what might happen, the doctors said i'm fine but i don't feel fine, i don't want to die or become sick, i just wanted to enjoy life more , i am just upset and somewhat traumatized, i think malevolence is the worse of all snakes because it upsets our soul. with what the doctors told me, i can't simply not go back, but also i feel like if i were touched in the face i would get concussed. idk how my hero does it, she got hurt so badly, and she went training quickly and is fighting soon. i wish i was more like her.