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one of the many hardest parts about being a father is explaining to my child what I've done in my days to her one day. I've lived a long life so far. It feels like a lifetime and the days dont coincide anymore. It just feels jumbled and confusing. I've inherited my mother's depression at an early age. My left forearm is a portrait of self-harm cuts and scars. Everytime she sees them, she crawls on my lap and pats them and says "you hurt?" or "Feel better?" How am I supposed to explain to her one day that I've struggled to face my misdeeds in the past and had horrid ways to deal with them and myself?

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  • You tell her that sometimes life gets very hard, and sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes when people hurt a lot inside, they do things they shouldn't. But those people can change, and even though they'll always have reminders of their past, it doesn't make them any less who they are now. Your daughter sounds like she loves you. When she's old enough to understand, she won't hold your past against you. My dad had a rough life too, and the only thing I ever judged him for was refusing to change. I would forgive all of his misdeeds in a heartbeat if only he would show some effort towards trying to be a better person. Show your daughter that anyone can become a good person if they try.

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