one of the many hardest parts about being a father is explaining to my child what I've done in my days to her one day. I've lived a long life so far. It feels like a lifetime and the days dont coincide anymore. It just feels jumbled and confusing. I've inherited my mother's depression at an early age. My left forearm is a portrait of self-harm cuts and scars. Everytime she sees them, she crawls on my lap and pats them and says "you hurt?" or "Feel better?" How am I supposed to explain to her one day that I've struggled to face my misdeeds in the past and had horrid ways to deal with them and myself?