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lately i have been feeling more and more depressed and feeling despair, i think it's the Rose thing, i just feel worthless because shes not my friend or cares about me. it's so stupid i know, she can't even know about me, but i just feel uncared for and unimportant, she replied to me once and i think she was like open to be my friend and talk to me, but i must not have said the right things, and she never replied again, and i just feel sad thinking she doesn't know me or care about me and that she isn't my friend and that she doesnt think well of me or anything like that. everyday i feel suicidal really badly, i just want this to stop, i just wish she acknowledged me, and talked to me, and knew my name, i wish i didn't feel so inferior to her, i wish i hadn't wasted my youth and had done all the things she did so today i could be a dignified cool awesome person like her, but im not, im almost her age and have nothing to show for it, while she's 28 and already owns the universe, im 25 and a bum, i have nothing, im so distant from her and i want to cry everyday all the time

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