Damn it Caleb. Do you know how much I want to be there for you? How much feelings I hold in out of respect and admiration for you? You're so unique and so you. I have never met someone so unlike the rest of the population I've encountered. You don't fall in line with everybody else. You follow your way and damn anybody who disagrees. You are what I wish I was. You don't care how peculiar you seem to others. And yet you still, deep down under all that oddity, have a caring and kind heart. It may be covered with your unusual humor but you have the sweetest and softest smile. A deep compassion for your friends that, dare I say, rivals my own. Jessi felt inferior to you, and (strangely enough despite me considering her my equal.) to me. That's why she treated us the way she did. Fodder. Easily discarded when our uses were spent. In hindsight, im glad I opted out of that threesome. (Mainly because she was an overweight, hairy, unkempt train wreck that made me gag when I accidently caught her naked.) But you. You who knows the darkest parts of me, my deepest and most vile hell, and still stayed by my side when I needed a friend the most while jessi toddled off to fondle her dogs. I wish I could tell you these things in person instead of some humdrum app. I wish I could bear my soul to one final person. Shay destroyed me. Noah confused me. But you only have clarity inside me. I don't want to be with you simply because you don't feel the same way with me. And while that is a fucking miserable experience im all too familiar with, because its you I respect that and despite my track record, I won't continue a pointless advance. I just wish I could tell you this so I can be free and move on from this.