thinking that my single life is nothing, comes from nothing, dying into nothing, and matters to nothing calms down my thoughts of overwhelming demand of now or never. a healthy lifespan is 70 yrs if you're lucky and happy 90. but in my 20s and my peers around me feel like today is all we got and tomorrow doomed. its so stressful and things just pile up. honestly its draining. but I try to breathe and take baby steps, painful unsure baby steps.