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I'm in a long distance relationship, I've been with my gf for 7 months. she has 3 boys. (7, 10, and 12) but she wants me to reach out and establish a relationship with them. I've made attempts but the kids haven't. (I've played video games with them) I told her "it takes 2 tango" the kids should also have the same curiosity to meet me (someone who is dating thier mom) but she said . ""they don't have to because thier kids. and I'm the adult. I should reach out to them. not them" and she also said "how can they know me? if its over the phone" ....the kids don't know me because I'm not there BUT they also don't want to talk/video chat either.....how is that fair? I'm supposed to do all the reaching out....and if they don't like it.....thats ok??? its so awkward when they pop up on the video chat because all they want is to talk to thier mom not. so I move the camera away and she says I push them away??? how?? they don't make zero effects to get to know me who is wrong??? what's right

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  • I get that it feels awkward, but as a kid I didnt give a shit about my mother's boyfriends until they proved they were going to stick around. 7 months isnt very long. But she's right, they're kids and you're the adult. It's not on them to be the ones to put in the effort. When I had to do that I just felt like I was bothering the guys and being an annoying little shit. Unfortunately you moving the camera is probably giving them that impression accidentally. You just have to keep trying. Over and over. Its exhausting but that's life with kids. Either you can handle that with her or you need to reexamine.

  • weird as hell brother gotdamn.

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