I was anorexic and bulimic as a teen, but I somehow never quite fit into it. I would binge food and be okay with it, then avoid it the next few weeks. Now I'm an adult and these toughts have been triggered again. My current boyfriend knows I struggled with food, but not how. He is tall and naturally skinny. Sometimes he has lunch and the next time he eats would be lunch on the next day, because he just wasn't hungry. I think about food 60% of the time and got so angry at myself last night, because I was hungry again while he wasn't. I hate it and I hate myself. Right now I just don't want to eat, but simultaneously I think about all the stuff I could bake or cook and enjoy. I want to stay strong and eat nothing. Show him, how I can be. If I give in and have some food, he couldn't take me seriously right? I couldn't take myself seriously. I would look like a joke in front of both of us.