Im 36 y/o, since i can think i've troubles with sleeping - not that i can't sleep but i need +12h of sleep to function properly.. So for years now i medicate myself with cocaine, i do a bit after i get up at 5 and another bit at 10, that way i can sleep at night and eat in the evening - and be fucking productive. All good. All ok. Doing this for years now But my bf asked to marry me on new years eve. He doesn't know and now i feel like betraying him.. he won't understand.. also: he's a cop .. wtf should i do ?