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When you so good at hiding things that people can't even tell when your in physical pain or that you have as many struggles as you do..... Iceberg style (implying I only share some of the minor things that are more relatable for others to deal with) I legit don't even make recognizable expressions when I'm in minor pain anymore and even when it's bad pain I'm the one that tells them I'm in bad pain, but let's not for get forget the mental problems I so "seemlessly" avoid talking about and showing to people~ shall we list them? Anger issues, depression, inferiority complex, mild anxiety attacks, very possible undiagnosed adhd, abandonment issues, a toxic ly ableist mindset, self worth issues, etc. Now I know everyome is a bag of problems so the amount I have isn't the problem it's mostly that I see others getting help and working through there problems and I don't feel like I'm so bad I deserve it even tho this crap hurts like hell and inspires some less then desirable coping mechanisms....idk I just wanna be help but don't know how to ask for it without feeling needy

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  • I almost got seriously fucked up from an infected gallbladder because I'm so stoic when experiencing physical pain. I want to the ER 4 times in 72 hrs and each time they sent me home because I 'obviously wasn't in that much pain'. Eventually they did an ultrasound and my gallbladder was super swollen and full of something that looked like one solid mass. I had emergency surgery to get the whole thing removed. I was raised in an abusive household, where if you reacted to the pain of the abuse it just resulted in more abuse. So I'm stone faced while experiencing things that apparently should be curling me up in a ball of vomit and tears on the floor. This isnt a brag. I could have died from sepsis or some shit because I can't react like a normal person.

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