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So Me and my sister have an abusive mom, our dad and step mom are no better. Our mom is emotionally abusive and manipulative, she is diagnosed with BPD but refuses to take medication for it because she doesn't want to, but I don't really know if I should consider her a bad person because I wanna be empathic towards her but at the same time she has destroyed many things in my life. Me and sister are teaming up behind her back to move out eventually in the next few years, although freedom is so close, it feels wrong at the same time. When I get somewheres where I'm on my own or with my sister, I won't know what to do with myself because I've been walking on eggshells for my entire life avoiding getting shit from any of my parental figures in my life, they claim that I should appreciate them because they are my parents but I have a hard time doing that, not because I'm incapable, mainly because I have a hard time appreciating people that have done very little to help me out in life. lol. idk if I'm an ableist for calling my mom a bad person but... damn... if I am Im sorry.

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  • I know exactly how you feel. My mom wasn't awful, but my dad has BPD and was downright emotionally abusive until he finally hit my mom one day and she kicked him out. He's an alcoholic and a drug addict and refuses to get help. My mom isn't that bad, but she's definitely manipulative without necessarily meaning to be, and moving out was the best thing I ever did. You're not a bad person for not appreciating people who treated you badly. Blood relation means nothing when those people don't respect you. You're not obligated to love family. It'll take time and work to get used to not constantly walking on eggshells, but it will happen in time. Best of luck to you and your sister.

  • been through something similiar. That shit truly fcks your mental health... It's different for everyone but the advice i can give you: you're a human being and deserve to be have peace and be happy! It took me over 10yrs and still is hard cause im married, have 2 kids and they of course ask me about MY family - also my mothers alive and trying everything to get back in my life.. She birthed me - but i owe her NOTHING.

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