I suffer from depression (undiagnosed) but it leeches into panic attacks and terrible anxiety. I have a wonderful husband but I don't think he fully internalizes what I deal with inside my head. I have always been extremely independent and seemingly strong as I don't feel like I can rely on anyone. I contemplate running away from my life completely and leaving the country I live in, so I can full time pursue my passion of running away from everyone and everything. I wish I could just cut off my head, and replace it... thats my insight I guess on how I feel on bad days.