Alright, so a while back I kind of made a mistake. Some back story on my life: when I was 15, I was in a terrible place in my life. I'd never been a relationship or had a true friend, the friends I did have were pretty awful to me (if you could call them friends, they were more like the people I knew from childhood). Anyway, I was in a terrible place and I really didn't know what to do. I was pretty introverted at the time, I found it extremely difficult to speak up or talk to someone but I also felt incredibly lonely. In desperation I reached out to a girl who's IM info I had from a group project at school. We got to talking and actually became really close. I had been pretty much head over heels for this girl all through the class we had together and over the next month she ended up falling for me and we started going out. Probably the most life changing event of my life. Through her and with her help I started to turn my life around, open up more, make new friends and I started to enjoy life more in general. Anyway, this continues through the rest of highschool and up to the point we graduate and head off to college. We wound up being accepted to the same school (although for different programs). Things had been getting kind of rough though towards the end of highschool and so soon after my birthday in the first semester of college she broke up with me. In retrospect, I had turned into a pretty awful boyfriend and I don't blame her at all for how our relationship ended. In all honesty, the breakup was probably the second most life changing event of my life (so-far). It made me take a hard look at what I'd become and decide to change for the better. Anyway, that was about a year and a half ago now and I've finally started to move on. The changes I decided to make to both myself and my lifestyle have put me in a different position than I was in before, I've been working out, lost a lot of weight and pulled my grades up. In general I just feel more confident. Anyway, on to the main point I'm trying to make. About a month ago, a girl from another program who happened to be a friend of a buddy of mine was hanging out with us while I was on my laptop one evening. She seemed to be really interested in what I was doing and kept on talking to me, as if she really liked me. I was kind of startled, it was the first time I'd been approached by a girl like this and it was at a point where I finally felt like I'd put enough time between me and my previous relationship that I was ready to move on. I guess I didn't really feel anything for her, although she was nice and sort of cute, but when she asked for my phone number I sort of made up my mind. Later that night when I was out for drinks with some friends, I got the bright idea of asking her out to which she said yes. The next couple weeks were difficult, as I talked to her more, I began to realize that we really didn't have much in common and our personalities seemed to clash. Still, I didn't want to let something slip through my fingers as I'd missed the feeling of being in a relationship very much that past year, so I held on in the hopes that I'd eventually feel that "spark" and could enjoy being with her. As it turns out, this is a big mistake. Anyway, we make plans to meet up during a break she has between classes, but she says she's going to bring a friend along to which I agree. I go to meet them and find the two of them standing there talking to each other. The first thing I see is her friend, who is beyond gorgeous to the point that I had trouble not staring at her the moment we met. She's shy as we've just met but we all agree to go over to the mall to get something to eat. Now, to inject in the story, I'm not one who goes for the hot girl every time. Who you are on the inside, what you think and how you feel is pretty much paramount for me, but I won't deny that a pretty face can get my heart pounding. Anyway, we sit down and I'm left alone with the friend while the first girl goes to buy something. We start talking and it's like electricity, talking to her is just so easy and fun. While spending time with the first girl is like gears grinding together, this is just smooth and enjoyable. It was like everything I learned about her was just more and more amazing. If I had an imaginary list of all the things that make the perfect girl for me, she checked off every point. We ended up hanging out for 6 hours that day, and by the end of it, I knew I had to ask this girl out. The trouble now is that I'm already semi-dating her friend. Admittedly, the only "date" we'd been on was to get tea, and it had been only once. Other than that we'd just chatted online, but I felt like I owed it to her to tell her what was going on and come clean. This was also an incredible mistake. That evening I talked to her and tried to explain that I didn't feel the spark with her, although admitting that I wanted to ask out her best friend was probably not the best idea. I was then informed of the irony of the situation because she had just been telling the other girl how she thought she might actually be falling for me. So now I feel like a true pile of shit. I've trampled over the feelings of one girl, which made me feel incredibly guilty, and I've probably alienated the best girl I'd ever met by hurting her best friend. The first girl ended up taking the whole thing pretty hard over the next few days. I tried my best to try and apologize for what I'd done (also not a good idea apparently). She told me that I wasn't allowed to ask her friend out. In my guilt, I agreed to hold off asking her out for the foreseeable future. I figured that after knowing her for only two weeks, she wouldn't be hung up on me for too long and after she got over it, I would be open to pursue a relationship with the other girl. I guess it sounds pretty awful, but I really, really liked this girl. Anyway, over the next few days, I texted back and forth with the second girl quite a bit, it seemed that the first girl hadn't told her anything about what had happened between us. It's now been two weeks since she's responded and just less than that since I've sent her a text. I'm quite sure that she's now avoiding me and I don't know what to do. I feel like there could really be something with this girl and I'm afraid I've destroyed my only chance before things even started.