I've been living by myself ever since my parents found out I was gay. I can't trust people since then on. I really like the people I meet, but when I see the hurt people can make you go through, I crack and block. I chased away the only woman I truly loved. Now the only women I meet are butterflies who pass after a few months. I feel comfortable enough to go to parties with my friends and just standing somewhere tapping my foot to the beat of the music. It's all fun and games when you talk to girls in a crowdy loud place, just to get to know them. I think the people I love the most in my current situation are my best friends. My parents tried to make it up a few times, but I can't find the heart to reconcile with them. I can't forgive myself for living a lie from the moment I kissed a girl. Why do people want to know what you do in your bedroom, don't they have a private life they want to protect and cherish? I don't think I hate people, but I really don't like them all.