I'm 32 with a 24 emotionally abusive partner suffering from depression and having all the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. She's had a terrible past. We have a daughter together and I'm trying to build up or future to be calm, stable and serene.. Which is the exact opposite of how she had known before me, but many times I'm made to fell like I'm surplus.. I'm not needed and unimportant. She seems to insist on depending on me regarding lifestyle choices, while I urge her to seek independence.. Such as her stopping work when she had our daughter.. Therefore depending on me for money.. Which i accepted to pay her debt and expenses and living.. But I urged her to be financially independent because I didn't want her to fell that she trapped with me. She's said at times that I've saved her from her past, and at others that putting up with the abuse from her past is better than this relationship. She constantly contradicts herself.. She goes hot and cold within the same sentence sometimes. We go to couples therapy and she has her own 1 to 1 as well but I don't see it doing as much good as it needs. Looking back, I guess overall her life is a lot better than it was before me.. Bit with the exception of my daughter, mine has deteriorated.. I've always wanted to "save someone".. And always want to fix things.. I thought I could fix her.. I never expected her to be so ungrateful. As if I'm the reason she's so fucked up..