I'm young and want to live longer and be happy, to settle somewhere someday, maybe with someone... But there is a part of me that is just--for some reason-- wanting to be at peace, and by that I mean... The peace of eternal slumber. That if I get a fatal sickness for example, I would be upset due to the fact that these might be my last days on earth, yet relieved at the same time. I can't explain it, its madness. I'm happy and you could say I'm having a nice life; I'm not suicidal or depressed but there just really is something pulling me to death.