Not many will understand, but, it is literally killing me that I am not in a band! So few people are dedicated to getting together, and then staying together, to play songs repeatedly and get good at it, that it really saddens me to the point where I'll probably go into a depression and die sooner. So, yes, it is literally killing me. Part of me is dying because most people would rather not do something that could be fun, is the ultimate form of peak communication, and could potentially make them lots of money... But that's beside the point.