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I didn't tell many people, for this exact reason, and I have really no one to vent to, so I thought I would vent to you guys. Early Thursday morning, I had a miscarriage. I was 13 weeks pregnant, and it was probably the most painful thing, physically and mentally, I have ever experienced. It would have been our first child, and her name was Catherine. I am not really sure how to deal with it, how to move past it. My husband is kind of introverted, and doesn't seem outwardly phased by it, which makes me angry, and I know I shouldn't be, but I am. I am dying inside and he is just moving on like noting happened. Should I leave him be and let him deal with it his own way, or make him talk to me? I don't want to end up as one of those couples whose relationship falls apart after something like this. Any advice would be great. I am seriously at a loss here. All I do anymore is yell at myself for not taking better care of my baby and inwardly screaming at my husband for not crying with me. I am going to the doctor tomorrow to make sure everything is cleared up and when we can try again. It just makes me so sad, we have been trying to have a baby for over a year now and when we finally do, I fu*k it all up. He says he doesn't blame me, but he should. I should have been more careful. i should have taken time off from work and stayed home and not moved boxes or anything like that. I should have been better. I want to scream and cry and drink and get stoned and chain smoke a carton of cigarettes and just lay in bed and do nothing. I don't know how else to deal with this. How do people do it? How do they move on from the death of someone that never lived? When a friend dies, you're not the only one grieving, but in this case I am. I am alone in this black cloud of sad and death and I just....don't know where else to go.

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  • That's nothing compared to mine. My boyfriend didn't even dared to hold the baby nor watch him get taken away. He said it was painful for him

  • Tell him how you feel about your miscarriage, not how you feel about his way of coping with it. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want your relationship to stop communicating because of this, just like you...and you're not alone. Also, this wasn't your fault...it's easier to make it about yourself, but the fact remains miscarriages can happen and when they do...you have two options: 1.- Beat yourself up and alienate the people that love you. 2.- Pull yourself together and keep trying for what you really want. There are so many "maybes" out there, all negative...but there's one I'd like to focus on: "maybe this pregnancy was supposed to end up being a miscarriage"...the fact is that you and him are a family, and family sticks together through the tough times...you are NOT alone and it's not your responsibility. Best of success!!

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