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As a child I was quite heavily physically abused by my father. My mother didn't want me even when she was pregnant. Sometimes if I came home and just said "hi mom" she would tell me I'm sick in my head and she is sick of me and things like that.. I'm an Indo (mixed blood of Indonesian and Dutch with some Arabic and Portuguese), when we moved to the city the kids in the class would call me ugly for having thick lips, big ears, flat nose, dark eyes and I actually started to believe them. They used to beat me up and even threatened to kill me with a knife (we were only 9/10 years old).. Only the Turkish kids in my class used to help me. But after that I still believed in what the Dutch kids called me and turned into some racist white supremacist communist rebel until I realised what had been going on, I became so anti-white and joined up with the guys on the streets. Became a thug, even got beat up in the streets ( I have been fighting at home, in school and in the streets ever since I was 5 yo) lying on the sidewalk with a mouth full of blood.. Found so much peace in listening to Reggae music, and they were always singing Bible texts.. So i started to read it and study it.. My life has changed now, I talk to God and He talks to me.. Now I want to find a beautiful woman and maybe become a preacher.. But Im afraid.. since my father used to beat me up so hard, Im affraid I will someday beat up my child too...

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  • If you hear "God" you may have schizophrenia

  • Dont worry you will become a good father :-)

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