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I am constantly berated not only by other people, but by voices in my head. I'm starting to wonder if my past shrinks were wrong and that I really do deserve it. It just constantly happens. I am treated like a verbal punching bag. I'm weak, so I am a target. People tell me, "God's sake, grow a backbone!" "Quit letting people walk all over you!" and all I hear is just beratement for being berated. I was raised in a home where I was the target of everyone's aggression. And I hoped that when I got out of that home, I may find a place where that wasn't the case. But it's only gotten worse. I don't know what to do. It's turned me into an anxious mess of a man. I can't even leave the house most days. I am bombarded with hatred within my own mind, and I see no escape.

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