I've never confessed on here but I just need to vent because I want to just rip my hair out and scream and cry, but mainly I just want to cut, all I can think about at the moment is cutting, I haven't done it in forever, but I know that it's my base coping mechanism, it'll make me feel better. The situation is, I'm working in a dead end job and have been looking for work for months now, work was making me so anxious and exhausted and depressed, I hated it, so anyway I got a new job and I was so happy and thankful, it was a call centre job and it seemed awesome and that my life was starting to look up, I didn't get any sales on the 2nd and 3rd day and I got fired and this was after my resignation from my first job so now I am unemployed... I just hate everything so much and I can feel so much venom in my veins, I just want a stable job, that's all. I had a job interview today, not for a job I really want but hey a job is a job, I came home to my lovely boyfriend, I adore him so much and this is what makes me hate myself so much, he got offered a job by a friend of ours, with bulk hours, bulk money and stability, he's still employed and hasn't even been looking for a job and already gets a decent pay but he gets offered an awesome job no questions asked and that makes me so mad because I want it, I know that's so ridiculously selfish of me and I'm being so horrible but I just hate myself so much right now. I just feel like I suck at everything I can't even get a job after applying for months, and I just want to cut and cut and cut. Why can't good things happen to me? I'm a failure and going nowhere in life.