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I've never confessed on here but I just need to vent because I want to just rip my hair out and scream and cry, but mainly I just want to cut, all I can think about at the moment is cutting, I haven't done it in forever, but I know that it's my base coping mechanism, it'll make me feel better. The situation is, I'm working in a dead end job and have been looking for work for months now, work was making me so anxious and exhausted and depressed, I hated it, so anyway I got a new job and I was so happy and thankful, it was a call centre job and it seemed awesome and that my life was starting to look up, I didn't get any sales on the 2nd and 3rd day and I got fired and this was after my resignation from my first job so now I am unemployed... I just hate everything so much and I can feel so much venom in my veins, I just want a stable job, that's all. I had a job interview today, not for a job I really want but hey a job is a job, I came home to my lovely boyfriend, I adore him so much and this is what makes me hate myself so much, he got offered a job by a friend of ours, with bulk hours, bulk money and stability, he's still employed and hasn't even been looking for a job and already gets a decent pay but he gets offered an awesome job no questions asked and that makes me so mad because I want it, I know that's so ridiculously selfish of me and I'm being so horrible but I just hate myself so much right now. I just feel like I suck at everything I can't even get a job after applying for months, and I just want to cut and cut and cut. Why can't good things happen to me? I'm a failure and going nowhere in life.

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  • If you let go, it'll keep happening to you, start pumping yourself for the best and it will come by itself. There's nothing that's going to stop you once you really convince yourself that not only you're not a failure, but that the job you want is just a few moments away. Good things comes to those who wait? yeah whatever, I say good things come to those who want it to happen and find the perseverance to keep going.

  • you are NOT a failure! XXX

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