I'm finding it hard to go on. I know I'm not as bad off, but my life has been pretty good and now everything is falling apart. My mom is cheating on my dad, causing a rift in the family that my dad is trying to fix. Hes taken divorce off the table to help my sister. While I've always known it, during this time is the only time my dad has said the words I'm proud of you. But I'm a failure, I've dropped out of college (haven't told them because I don't want to add to his stress and really don't give a shit about my mom unless she commits to the family again). I've gained 20 lbs during college and am out of shape. And I put on a strong face but am crying myself to sleep more nights like then I'd like to admit. While I'd never do it, I've considered suicide just to get away and shock my mother back into herself, and make her realize the harm she's causing everyone.